Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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