What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
