So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
