you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
