Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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