Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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