I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
