im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize