My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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