just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
