also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
