I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
