Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Damn victory sex feels great
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
