"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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