a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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