her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
