If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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