i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
