Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
