ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
