I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
