This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
