i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
