Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
