What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
