Whod you bang
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
