Even the bartender felt bad for me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
