if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
