she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Randomize
