yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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Someone came in the potted fern
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize