I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize