i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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