im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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