I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
