We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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