So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
