using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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