I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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