I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
