We're like a lot better than the average bears
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
