Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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