So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize