): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
