All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
