Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm too high and old for this...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
