Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
