My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You took a bar mat shot.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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