so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
