I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
