she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
