She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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