just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
