I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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