So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
