doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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