You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
