in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
