and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
