I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
