The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
