He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
