I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
