i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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