im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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