You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
