dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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